so i recently came across an article about a boston college professor who felt relationships these days… (shout-out @abdashsoul for that mediocre ass project) have become twisted and lack meaning, so he made it a requirement for students to go on a date without alcohol and hooking up. just a plain old-fashioned date.
pretty revolutionary idea to me. the thought of how “relationships” are conducted these days blows the sh*t outta me. basically you go out there, guns blazing, pride on the line, and throw your emotions at someone. then you mentally prepare yourself to play the pretending-not-to-care-game, with hopes these feelings are reciprocated. does that seem like a rational strategy to garner positive results? no. from my experience it goes like this: you hook up with someone randomly for the most part, then end up wondering if you’re worth round two, or worth getting to know. in some cases, you may be fortunate, and are in the beginning stages of a fresh, possible relationship starting out with the texting volley our generation has come to know and deal with. do i wait ten minutes to text her back? how bout an emoji? i better not make my messages too long or reply instantly – ion wanna seem thirsty. BULLSHIT.
now you gotta be careful. you have to make sure your walls come crumbling down because she sends you smiley faces, long texts, or cuddles with you. just because she acts she likes you does not mean it’s true. in the early stages of the relationship, you have to balance the see-saw of being too forward vs being too hard to get. sh*t is scressful, timing your text messages, painfully refraining from texting her first even though you have been thinking about her all.damn.day, and waiting before making any physical advances. again, BULLSHIT.
and let’s not forget about being tossed into the “undefined” territory like a unwanted group-message: you text 24/7, hook up, AND cuddle, but she’ll expose your ‘thirst’ all over twitter & the ‘Gram before ever calling you her“boyfriend” or “bae.” B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.
this is a generation-wide epidemic. as much as i sometimes wish i could time-travel to the 70′s where i could stroll up to a gals door, pick her up and go to a sock hop or whatever sh*t they did back then, it ain’t gonna happen. instead, i’ve learned to deal with it and try to make the experience a little better.
off top, don’t let this girl control you or your happiness breh.
a common flaw that comes up often is being treated as an option, rather than a priority. she never gon know she’s making you feel like a lame unless you tell her. this doesn’t mean act like a simp if you’re simply trying to smash but if you’re trying to cuff & she still makes you feel that way after you tell her then bounce onto the next one. if someone is not going to appreciate you, no matter how hard you try, no matter how much “progress” you think you’re making, you can’t force them to. chances are they never will.
respect yourself to earn the appreciation and the love (yes i said it) that you deserve, & respect yourself enough to get up and walk away. as much as i doubt it myself, eventually, you’ll find someone who sees how amazing you really are and will not only respond to all your texts on time, but go to great lengths to make you happy too.